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masturbation as an alternative to sex


If a man or woman is not in a current sexual relationship, masturbation serves as a way to relieve desires and tensions.  Most men automatically masturbate when they feel 'horny' or if they're aroused by a woman or picture, but some women still feel uncomfortable about touching themselves sexually.  This is no doubt another conditioned response, creating a barrier in some women's minds against 'pleasuring' themselves.

Younger women today are a lot less inhibited about their sexual needs and quite openly purchase vibrators and other sex aids for their own use.  Older women, however, if single, between relationships or widowed, often believe that they have to endure celibacy and sexual frustration because they've never felt 'allowed' to look after themselves sexually.

Masturbation is a form of self-love.  It's saying in essence — I feel sexy and I'm not waiting for anyone to take care of my needs.  For most men and women, it's a poor substitute for love-making but, these days, all of us are going to be alone at some time, either in between relationships or if our partners are away.  Isn't masturbation preferable to risking unsafe sex with a casual partner or being unfaithful and ruining a relationship which is strained by periods of separation?

I am often surprised by middle-aged women asking me if they should consider using a vibrator and how to go about getting one.  Some of these enquirers have been without sex for years!  A listener rang and asked me what she should do because her last relationship had ended six years before and she wasn't interested in anything casual.  She said she had sexual feelings and didn't know what to do about them.  When I asked if she masturbated or used a vibrator, she seemed genuinely surprised at the mention of these alternatives.  Sometimes, people from religious backgrounds believe that masturbation is wrong.

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